Gabriel And Jo In The Labyrinth
by Gabriel and Jo
Summary: Two hyperactive girls wish their little brother away, and end up going to stay with Jareth themselves instead. Chaos ensues. Rated for suggestive, but not actually sexual, content, and mild swearing. (Jo's Note: Yay! New blue oubliette!)
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: We don't own Labyrinth or any of the characters therein. We have no wish to own David Bowie. He's married. We wish him happiness. Gabriel, being one of the authors, belongs to herself. Jo belongs to herself, too, and possibly the Devil. The Boots of Doom are Gabriel's. "Lookylookylooky at the whosi in my bootycrack!" belongs to Jo and Lael. There are lots of random references to stuff, but we can't possibly name all of them.  
  
Trouble In The Labyrinth In The Form Of Two Implausibly Hyper Girls  
  
(Scene: A bedroom in a big white house. It's dark out, and it's starting to rain. There is a crib in the corner, and a large bed against one wall. In the crib is a small baby boy, who is screaming like mad, and sitting on the bed, side by side, are two girls. One has shoulder-length blond hair and gray eyes, and the other has long black hair, dark eyes, and glasses. In unison, they look at the crib, groan, and then look at each other.)  
  
Dark-Haired Girl: Hey, Jo?  
  
Jo (Blond Girl): Yeah, Gabriel?  
  
Gabriel: (faintly irritated) Let's tell Jon-Jon a story.  
  
Jo: (grinning) Ok.  
  
(They stand up and go over to the crib. Jo picks up Jon-Jon, the baby, and she starts telling the story.)  
  
Jo: Ok, little dude, listen up. Once there were two beautiful sisters, whose evil parents always made them stay home and babysit instead of letting them hang out down town.  
  
Gabriel: (not at all vicious in tone) And the baby was awfully loud, and despite the fact that most of the time the girls liked children, at some point they got frustrated.  
  
Jo: (growing slowly more delighted) But, the Goblin King knew about the girls, and he ended up falling in love with them, and he told them that, if they said the right thing, he'd take away the baby.  
  
Gabriel: (faintly vicious) And they'd turn him into a goblin. And the end-  
  
Both: (vicious) ...is not yet written.  
  
(The baby shuts up for a moment, looking intimidated. It's long enough for Jo to put him back in the crib. As the two girls are leaving the room, Jon-Jon starts wailing again. They groan and turn around, looking highly irritated.)  
  
Gabriel: Y'know, I wish the goblins would-  
  
Jo: -come and take you away.  
  
Both: Right now.  
  
(They leave the room. There is a monumental crack of thunder, and then abruptly there are no more baby noises coming from the next room. Jo and Gabriel blink, turn around, and walk back into the room. Around them are funky giggling sounds. Gabriel starts flipping out, but Jo stays relatively calm. At least, until you notice that her pupils are dilated. There is a large owl tapping at the glass doors to the balcony. After a moment, they blow open, and Jareth appears in typical spooky fashion. Gabriel's jaw drops on the ground. Jo just stares.)  
  
Jo: Dude...you're the Goblin King...  
  
Jareth: (smirking) Yes. Charmed.  
  
Jo: Where's our little brother?  
  
Jareth: (still smirking) I'm quite sure you know where he is.  
  
Jo: And...can we have him back? (to Gabriel) Gabriel, stop drooling.  
  
Gabriel: (blushing and dragging up her jaw) Sorry.  
  
Jareth: (smirking) What's said is said. It can't be taken back.  
  
(Gabriel is still just staring at Jareth. Jo thinks fast.)  
  
Jo: Well, if we go with you, will you put our little brother back?  
  
(Jareth blinks. Gabriel looks over at Jo in shock. She jabs Jo in the shoulder. Jo does not flinch.)  
  
Jo: What, Gabriel?  
  
Gabriel: You mean...stay with him?  
  
Jo: Yeah.  
  
Gabriel: Er...cool! (turning back to Jareth) Can we, please?  
  
Jareth: (faintly surprised) I suppose that deal is good enough.  
  
Both Girls: Sounds good to us! 


	2. Chapter Two

(Scene: The goblin castle, next morning. Specifically, Jareth's room. Jareth is asleep in his own great big canopy bed. It has nice thick hangings that can be closed, but are at the moment open. The covers are all churned up, and he's lying on his stomach with one arm hanging down. In one corner of the room is a futon made up for sleeping on. Gabriel is sprawled on it, her covers half off. She's wearing a large t-shirt, lavender underwear, and one sock, but nothing else.)  
  
Jareth: Mmph...  
  
(He opens one eye, sees Gabriel, grunts, and closes it. A moment later, both his eyes pop open and focus on Gabriel. Though the rest of his face is hidden in the covers, it's easy to tell that he's blushing. Getting up, he goes to the wardrobe, pulls out clothes for the day, and changes on the bed, with the curtains closed on the side where she is. Having dressed, he gets off the bed and opens the curtain again.)  
  
Gabriel: (half-asleep) Hn? Whassat?  
  
(She opens her eyes and looks straight up at Jareth. He just looks at her. She blinks.)  
  
Gabriel: (suddenly) Oh, yeah. G'morning, Jareth.  
  
Jareth: Good morning.  
  
(He walks out of his room, straight into the throne room. Jo is asleep in the throne, wearing a pair of very small denim shorts and a small, tight t-shirt. One of his cloaks is pulled up halfway over her, like a blanket. Seeing this, Jareth gestures frantically at the goblins to get her out of there, but they misunderstand. At that moment, Jo wakes up. The cloak starts to slip off.)  
  
Jo: (groggy) G'morning, Jareth.  
  
(She pulls up the cloak, fastens it, and heads off towards the shower. Jareth sighs in relief and sits down on his throne.) 


	3. Chapter Three

(Scene: The throne room, later. Jareth is still sitting on the throne. Jo is in his lap, playing with the lapel of his jacket. Gabriel is sitting up behind the throne, playing with Jareth's hair. She is wearing some of his clothing, namely a pair of tight black pants, a modified poet's shirt, and a black leather vest. On her feet are her own personal knee-high black leather Boots of Doom.)  
  
Jo: Dude, you're the only guy I know who can get away with pants this tight.  
  
Gabriel: And a silver-handled riding crop.  
  
(Suddenly her eyes light up. Jo sees this and groans.)  
  
Gabriel: (sweetly) Hey, Jareth, can I borrow your riding crop, please?  
  
Jareth: (absently) Yes, of course.  
  
Jo: (muttering) Don't do it...  
  
Gabriel: Thank you!  
  
Jo: (muttering) Oh shit...  
  
(She hops down and grabs the riding crop, then looks around and singles out one goblin, which she starts to chase. The goblin yelps and runs away, and Gabriel chases after him, waving the riding crop and giggling. Jo sighs, and Jareth hides his face in his hands.)  
  
Jo: Oi.  
  
Jareth: (to nobody in particular) What have I gotten myself into?  
  
(Later. Jareth is still on his throne, having a meeting with a few goblins and looking bored out of his mind. Jo is hanging upside down from the back of the throne with a pencil and some paper on a clipboard. Just as Jareth's meeting is ending, Gabriel bursts into the throne room, still carrying the riding crop. She tosses it at Jareth, who blinks and catches it in one hand. Then she bursts into a completely spontaneous song and dance. Incidentally, she's singing 'Dance Magic Dance'. Jareth grunts and stands up, disturbing Jo in the process. He walks over and smacks Gabriel on the hand with the riding crop. She winces and stops dancing and singing. Jo sits up on the back of the throne, looking puzzled and annoyed.)  
  
Gabriel: (hurt) What was that for?  
  
Jareth: Don't. Sing. That. Song.  
  
Gabriel: Why not?  
  
Jareth: I dislike it. Strongly. (pause) Why are you wearing my clothes?  
  
Gabriel: They fit me, and I didn't have time to pack before we left. Besides, you have a good sense of style. I like these.  
  
Jo: I like 'em too! But they look better on Jareth.  
  
(Gabriel goes back to dancing. Jareth groans, goes back to his throne, moves Jo, and sits down.) 


	4. Chapter Four

(Scene: The dining room. Jareth is eating at a relatively normal pace and looking bored. Jo is on her third serving, and is almost done with it, despite the fact that she's talking at high speed at the same time. Gabriel is eating neatly and politely, and using the right forks.)  
  
Jo: (abruptly) Lookylookylooky at the whosi in my bootycrack!  
  
Gabriel: (chokes)  
  
Jareth: (startled) What?  
  
Jo: I said, lookylookylooky at the whosi in my bootycrack!  
  
Gabriel: (still choking)  
  
Jareth: Lookylookylooky at the what in your what?  
  
Jo: (impatient) At the whosi in my bootycrack!  
  
(They both suddenly notice that Gabriel is choking. Jareth pounds on her back, and a moment later a small rock comes flying out of her mouth and hits a wall, shattering.)  
  
Jareth: (curiously) Why was there a rock in your throat?  
  
Gabriel: (slowly calming down) They tend to show up when I hear something startling. Just so you know, a whosi is a weird smiley face. Blame Lael.  
  
Jareth: Lael?  
  
Gabriel: Jo's and my buddy.  
  
Jareth: Oh.  
  
(Jo is smirking hugely. They finish dinner.) 


	5. Chapter Five

(Scene: The next morning, in Jareth's room. Jareth opens one eye experimentally. The first thing he sees is Gabriel, standing in front of a mirror and trying on his clothes. He blushes and hides his face. Gabriel hears the rustling and turns around, fully clothed and wearing an outfit similar to the one she wore yesterday.)  
  
Gabriel: Oh. Hey, Jareth. G'morning.  
  
Jareth: (muffled) Good morning.  
  
(He waits until she leaves to get dressed, then goes out into the throne room, dumps Jo off the throne, and sits down. Jo squeaks indignantly and then hurries off to get dressed.)  
  
(A day passes by, just like the one before. Jareth holds court. Jo sits on his lap. Gabriel chases goblins with the riding crop. Meals happen. Nothing special.) 


	6. Chapter Six

(Scene: The throne room, next morning. Jo is awake and dressed this time. Gabriel comes out of Jareth's room, wearing an almost-knee-length blue t-shirt and a pink sock. Her glasses are slipping. She's yawning. Stumbling over, she leans against one of the arms of the throne, and Jo gives her a Look. Blinking, Gabriel peers at her.)  
  
Gabriel: Uh? What?  
  
Jo: You're lucky.  
  
Gabriel: Why?  
  
Jo: You sleep in his room.  
  
Gabriel: But you like sleeping on the throne! Besides, I don't think you'd want to share with him. He kicks like anything and talks in his sleep. And when he's dreaming, sometimes he chews on people's ears.  
  
(Jo looks Gabriel up and down, noting that her legs are heavily bruised and that her ears are bright red, with tooth marks. She raises an eyebrow and smirks at Gabriel.)  
  
Jo: So, what were you doing last night?  
  
Gabriel: (embarrassed, quickly) It was cold! He has more covers than me, and his mattress is warmer! Besides, it's been proven that the quickest way to warm up is to get near another warm body.  
  
Jo: (not convinced) It was not cold. It was nippy.  
  
Gabriel: You're a mutant. You don't count.  
  
(Jareth walks out of his room, looking half-asleep and more rumpled than usual. He has a bruise on his chin. He walks over to the throne and motions to Gabriel and Jo that it's time for a heavily caffeinated breakfast.)  
  
Gabriel: (following Jareth to the dining room) You talk in your sleep, Jareth.  
  
Jareth: I know. So do you.  
  
(Gabriel blushes.)  
  
(Scene: The throne room, later in the day. Gabriel is seated on Jareth's lap on the throne. Jo is bouncing around the room, little more than a blur. She zooms out.)  
  
Gabriel: Too much caffeine.  
  
Jareth: I noticed. 


	7. Chapter Seven

(Scene: The next morning, in Jareth's room. There is one shape in Jareth's bed, composed of all three people, with Jo on top, on her back. She wakes up and looks down at Jareth and Gabriel, who are twisted into an interesting position. Jareth is wearing a pair of black silk boxers, and Gabriel has on the usual long t-shirt, purple underwear, and interesting sock. Wincing, Jo crawls off them and pokes Gabriel in the shoulder. She wakes up.)  
  
Gabriel: (still mostly asleep) Hezz?  
  
Jo: Dude, what'd you two do last night? Jeez, I come in here for one night and this is what I see in the morning.  
  
(Gabriel's eyes snap open. She looks around herself and groans.)  
  
Gabriel: Look, we didn't do anything naughty. We just both move a lot in our sleep. We must have gotten tangled up.  
  
(Jareth wakes up abruptly. Because of the way he and Gabriel got tangled, he ends up staring straight into her face. Their heads are about two inches apart. Blushing, they untangle themselves. Jareth shoves the two girls off the bed, jumps off, grabs some clothing from the wardrobe, and gets back on the bed to change with the curtains closed.)  
  
Gabriel: (through curtains) Why do you do that?  
  
Jareth: What?  
  
Gabriel: (through curtains) Change on the bed.  
  
Jareth: Because otherwise it's embarrassing.  
  
Gabriel: (through curtains) Oh.  
  
Jo: Well, I like the black shorts...  
  
(There is some whispering from outside the curtains, and then the sound of footsteps. When Jareth opens up the curtains again, Jo is gone. He blinks.)  
  
Jareth: Where'd Jo go?  
  
Gabriel: She said something about 'Ludo'.  
  
Jareth: (slightly panicked) What? Who's Ludo?  
  
Gabriel: (shrugging) I dunno. Some dude.  
  
Jareth: (even more panicked) What? Is she leaving me for Ludo? What's happening?  
  
Gabriel: (blinkblink, cute) You still have mee-eee!  
  
Jareth: (calming down just a little) I suppose that's true. (panicked again) But who's Ludo? 


	8. Chapter Eight

(Scene: The throne room, late in the day. Jareth is sitting in the throne, looking stressed. Gabriel is perched on a random ledge with a large book. There is a rumbling sound. Jareth looks up, but Gabriel is oblivious)  
  
Jareth: Eh?  
  
(Jo comes walking in, with Ludo following behind her on a leash. Ludo grins hugely. Gabriel is still oblivious.)  
  
Ludo: Ludo friend!  
  
Jo: Jareth, this is Ludo, my new friend!  
  
(Jareth relaxes. Gabriel is still oblivious.)  
  
Jareth: Welcome back.  
  
(Jo throws a rock at Gabriel. Gabriel blinks.)  
  
Jo: Say hi to Ludo!  
  
Gabriel: ...hi, Ludo... 


	9. Chapter Nine

(Scene: Jareth's room, the next morning. Gabriel is not in evidence. Neither is Jo. Jareth wakes up, doesn't see Gabriel, and shrugs. He gets dressed in silence and walks out to the throne room. Jo isn't on the throne. Neither is Gabriel. He frowns and snags a goblin.)  
  
Goblin: (nervous) Yes, Lord?  
  
Jareth: Where did the girls go?  
  
Goblin: (even more nervous) They left some time early this morning. Said something about going visiting.  
  
Jareth: Oh, God, not again.  
  
(Jareth spends the rest of the day sitting in the throne, looking very stressed. He ignores everyone who tries to talk to him and eats very little. When anyone attempts to touch him, he smacks them across the room with the riding crop. Intermittently he gets up and paces, ranting nervously. Eventually he eats something like dinner and goes back to his room, closing the door behind him, and lies on the bed, staring up at the canopy.)  
  
(Moments later there is a double knock at the door.)  
  
Jareth: (strained) Come in.  
  
(The door opens. Jo and Gabriel walk in and shut the door behind them, then hop onto the bed on either side of Jareth.)  
  
Gabriel: Hi, Jareth!  
  
Jo: Didja miss us?  
  
Jareth: (startled) Where were you?  
  
Gabriel: (cheerfully) Visiting friends! You didn't think we'd leave you, did you?  
  
(She kisses him on the cheek. Simultaneously, Jo does the same on the other cheek. Jareth smiles hugely for a moment before remembering that he's supposed to look sulky. Gabriel squeals.)  
  
Gabriel: Oh, that smile was so cute! Do it again!  
  
Jareth: (hurriedly) What smile?  
  
Jo: That smile.  
  
Jareth: There was no smile!  
  
(Gabriel looks at Jo. They both nod, and then kiss Jareth again. He smiles again, this time for a bit longer before scowling again. Gabriel looks disappointed.)  
  
Gabriel: C'mon, can't you hold that smile for more than a second?  
  
Jareth: No.  
  
Gabriel: (childish, big shiny eyes) Pwease?  
  
Jareth: (resolution starting to wear down) No.  
  
(Undaunted, Jo and Gabriel continue to kiss him until he holds the smile for ten minutes straight. Then he scowls, blushes, and gets off the bed.)  
  
Jo: Where're you going?  
  
Jareth: (uncomfortable) I'm going to go take a cold shower.  
  
(He leaves. Jo and Gabriel look at each other, blink, and start laughing uncontrollably. Jo whips out a chalkboard, on which are two columns of tally scores: JARETH and GIRLS. She puts a mark under GIRLS.) 


	10. Chapter Ten

(Scene: The next morning, in the throne room. Jo is off somewhere. Jareth is sitting on his throne, and Gabriel is in his lap. Whenever he seems to be on the verge of saying something serious, she kisses him on the cheek. By lunchtime he's starting to get quite impatient. After lunch, it continues on in the same fashion. Suddenly Jo rushes in, pounces on Jareth, and kisses him on the cheek, in sync with Gabriel, right when he's in the middle of a meeting. Clenching his teeth, he stands up, dumping both girls on the floor.)  
  
Jareth: This is it! Gabriel, go to your room!  
  
Gabriel: (blinking, confused) But it's your room!  
  
Jareth: (teeth gritted) Don't mention that! Please! Just go! Jo, you too!  
  
Jo: (pointing to the throne) But that's my room!  
  
Jareth: Er, uh, then go to the staircase room!  
  
Jo: Dude. Spiffy. Is that my room now?  
  
Jareth: Yes. No. Whatever. Just go!  
  
Jo: (shrugging) Ok.  
  
(Gabriel and Jo disperse. Jareth turns back to the people he was meeting with.)  
  
Jareth: Excuse me, gentlemen. I'm going to go take a shower.  
  
(He hurries off down a discreet hallway. Gabriel and Jo pop their heads in and pull a shade down over the hallway. Jo marks down another point.)  
  
Gabriel: (from his room) Don't use up all the hot water!  
  
Jareth: (strangled) I don't intend to do any such thing!  
  
Jo: Good! I need the hot water for my bath!  
  
(There is a strangled yelp and the sound of running feet from the hallway to the showers.) 


	11. Chapter Eleven

(Scene: Jareth's room, the next morning. Jareth and Gabriel wake up, groggily disentangle themselves, and get dressed on opposite sides of the bed, facing away from each other. They stumble out of the room. Jareth plunks down onto his throne, and Gabriel hops into his lap. A goblin comes up with a coffee for Jareth and Dr. Pepper for Gabriel. The courtroom fills up quickly and eventually Jo walks in, wearing a tank top and jeans.)  
  
Gabriel: Gad...right now, I could just kill for a chocolate croissant.  
  
Jo: I can make those!  
  
Gabriel: You can? Really?  
  
Jo: (cheerful) Sure, dude! I'll go make a batch.  
  
(She hurries off.)  
  
(Four hours pass. Eventually Jo comes back in, covered from head to toe in chocolate and carrying a tray with croissants on it.)  
  
Gabriel: (delighted) Choco!  
  
(She leaps on Jo, hugging her. Jareth twitches uncomfortably, then peers at Jo.)  
  
Jareth: (blinkblink) Where'd you go, Jo?  
  
Jo: The first batch exploded. Have a croissant!  
  
(Gabriel has already eaten one. Jareth takes one of the pastries, takes an experimental bite, and then wolfs the rest down.)  
  
Gabriel: (out of the blue) Some people say chocolate is one of nature's aphrodisiacs!  
  
Jo: You mean like green M&Ms?  
  
(Jareth, who was reaching for a croissant, stops. Gabriel grabs another croissant and eats it, getting chocolate all over her hands in the process. She smiles cheerfully and starts sucking the chocolate off her fingers.)  
  
Gabriel: (oblivious) Happy happy choco...  
  
(Sounding strangled again, Jareth excuses himself and hurries off towards the showers. Gabriel blinks. Jo groans.)  
  
Jo: You idiot.  
  
Gabriel: (surprised) Was it something I did?  
  
Jo: (slightly irritated) Yes.  
  
Gabriel: (confused) What? All I was doing was licking chocolate off my fingers.  
  
Jo: (teeth gritted) That's what he was thinking about.  
  
Gabriel: (perplexed) What?  
  
(She pauses and thinks about it, then blushes.)  
  
Gabriel: Oh. (beat) Are you going to have a croissant?  
  
Jo: (suddenly in better mood) Of course.  
  
(She marks down another point for them. By now, there are about twenty.) 


	12. Chapter Twelve

(Scene: Later, same day, in the throne room. Jo is flopped on a random ledge, looking overheated and half-asleep. So does just about everyone else in the room, including Jareth and the group of people he's meeting with.)  
  
Jo: Damn, it's hot...  
  
(Abruptly there is the sound of someone humming, and Gabriel skips into the room, hopping up onto a ledge. She has a fresh orange popsicle, which is stuffed halfway into her mouth. Cheerfully oblivious to everything, she sits and sucks on the popsicle. After removing it for a moment to breathe, she licks at the popsicle, then shoves it back in her mouth, so that most of it is engulfed. Everyone else in the room is staring at her.)  
  
Gabriel: (mouth full) Hmmm hmmm...hm hmm hm hm hmmm...  
  
(Jo slowly starts to make a face. Jareth twitches uncomfortably. Gabriel is oblivious. Fifteen minutes pass. Jo is now really making a face. Jareth looks highly nervous. Gabriel is still oblivious. Finally Jo hops off her ledge, walks over to Gabriel's, and climbs up next to her, tapping Gabriel on the shoulder.)  
  
Gabriel: (mouth full) Hm?  
  
Jo: Whisper whisper whisper whisper.  
  
(Gabriel turns bright red, swallows hard, and pulls the popsicle stick out of her mouth.)  
  
Gabriel: (very embarrassed) Really?  
  
Jo: (solemn) Mm-hm.  
  
Gabriel: (very, very embarrassed) Oh. I think I'll leave now.  
  
(She hops down off the ledge and slinks into Jareth's room, blushing furiously. Jareth stares at the bare popsicle stick she left behind, then excuses himself, saying that he needs to go take a cold shower. Scroll to a chalkboard behind the throne. There is another point there for Jo and Gabriel.) 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

(Scene: Jareth's room. Jareth is sitting on the edge of the bed. Jo and Gabriel are side by side on the bed as well, whispering to each other and laughing. Jo turns to Jareth, trying to look innocent.)  
  
Jo: (sweetly) Jareth?  
  
Jareth: (not quite trusting) What?  
  
Jo: Can we play a game?  
  
Jareth: (relaxing) A game? Ok. What game?  
  
Jo: Well...we could play Truth Or Dare, or we could play Seven Minutes In Heaven.  
  
Jareth: (shrugging) Heaven sounds good, but I don't know either game.  
  
Gabriel: (strangled) No! No heaven! No closet games!  
  
Jareth: (suddenly embarrassed) All right, then...Truth Or Dare. Jo, how do you play?  
  
(Jo shrugs and explains. Jareth nods, then pauses and frowns. After a moment he just shrugs and smiles again.)  
  
Jareth: So who goes first?  
  
Jo: Me. Gabriel, truth or dare?  
  
Gabriel: (hesitating) Uh...dare.  
  
Jo: whisper whisper whisper  
  
Gabriel: (blushing) I hate you.  
  
(She reaches forward, grabs Jareth's face, and drags him into an enormous kiss. After a moment she pulls away, blushing even more. Jareth has a rather silly grin on his face, but it abruptly disappears when he notices it.)  
  
Jo: (grinning evilly) Your turn to ask one of us, Gabriel.  
  
(Gabriel does not reply. She's still blushing. Jo shrugs and turns to Jareth.)  
  
Jo: Truth or dare?  
  
Jareth: ...dare.  
  
(Jo whispers in Jareth's ear. He makes an attempt not to blush and returns Gabriel's kiss. She blushes even harder.)  
  
Gabriel: (slowly) Can we play Twister instead?  
  
Jo: Sure!  
  
Jareth: What's Twister?  
  
Jo: It's a game.  
  
Jareth: Is it...safe?  
  
Jo: Safe enough!  
  
(Fifteen minutes later, Twister has been set up and the three are halfway into a game, with a goblin calling. Abruptly Jo collapses, laughing.)  
  
Jo: Jareth, dammit, your hair tickles!  
  
(She starts to say something else, but Gabriel kicks her before she can.)  
  
Goblin: Right hand on blue!  
  
(Jareth and Gabriel switch obediently. Gabriel blinks and blushes.)  
  
Gabriel: Halloo, Jareth's crotch!  
  
(Note: This happened in real life, but it was Jo who said it originally.)  
  
(Jareth turns bright red. Jo chokes and starts laughing, then disappears with a bang. The other two don't notice, being occupied with detangling themselves. Jo comes back just as they've untangled and starts throwing pretzels at Gabriel. Gabriel goes nuts trying to eat them. Jareth is confused. Jo shrugs and starts throwing green M&Ms at both of them instead. She shrugs and eats some herself. Gabriel giggles, gives half of the M&Ms to Jareth, and eats the other half herself. Jareth stares at them as if they're poisonous.)  
  
Gabriel: Wossa matta? Eat!  
  
(Jo juggles her candy, then tosses some into her mouth. Jareth chokes. Gabriel starts force-feeding him. Jo, taking advantage of him being distracted, attempts to smuggle Ludo across the room.)  
  
Jareth: Mmf...wossa?  
  
Jo: Uh...him? He followed me home! Can I keep him?  
  
Jareth: ...  
  
Jo: Please? We won't have big parties! Rocks are his friends! He's anti-social like me!  
  
Ludo: Anti-social...  
  
(Jareth looks at Jo, then at Gabriel, who is now suddenly half-asleep. Then he looks at the pretzels and M&Ms on the floor, then at Ludo, then at Jo again, and then at Gabriel. He shrugs, nods, and orders the goblin who had been calling to clean the floor up. Ignoring Jo, he picks up Gabriel and dumps her unceremoniously onto her side of the bed.)  
  
Jo: Sweet! Thanks!  
  
(She gives him a big kiss on the cheek, then runs off to the kitchen, dragging Ludo behind her.)  
  
Jo: You'll love it in here! Look at the mess, Ludo!  
  
(Jareth yawns and collapses on the bed next to Gabriel, asleep. Gabriel opens an eye, grins, and crawls under the covers.) 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

(Scene: The next morning. It's very cold. Jo is sitting on throne in her tank top and shorts. She looks expectantly at Jareth's bedroom door, waiting for Jareth and Gabriel to come out. They don't.)  
  
(Fifteen minutes later. They still haven't come out. Jo, now bored, is tapping the riding crop on her shin and listening to goblins whine. She scowls at the door.)  
  
Jo: (yelling at door) WAKE UP, DAMMIT!  
  
(There is no reply. The goblins mumble amongst themselves. Jo blinks.)  
  
Jo: That's always worked before...  
  
(She gets off the throne, goes over to the bedroom door, and raps on the panel, nearly breaking the door down. There is no reply.)  
  
Jo: What in hell would keep them from getting up?  
  
(She opens the door and sticks her head in.)  
  
Jo: Guys! Up! NOW!  
  
(There is no reply. She walks in the room. The curtains are closed. Shrugging, she empties the wardrobe, carries all the clothes out, and locks the door behind her. Then she dumps the clothing on the throne, sits down, and waits. A goblin comes in.)  
  
Jo: (under her breath) Let's be queen for the day.  
  
(Around noon, Jo, tired of hearing the goblins whine, zones out. Moments later, a loud yell comes from the bedroom.)  
  
Jareth: (in bedroom) Jo!  
  
Gabriel: (in bedroom) It's COLD! Ow, Jareth, you have cold feet!  
  
Jareth: (in bedroom) Not my fault you don't wear pants in bed.  
  
(Jo gets off the throne and goes into the bedroom, locking the door behind her. The bed curtains are still closed. She sticks her head through. Jareth and Gabriel are on opposite edges of the bed, each trying to get as many covers as possible. Jo smiles slyly.)  
  
Jo: Gabriel, I thought you said the best way to get warm is to be really close to another person.  
  
(Gabriel blushes and hides her head under the pillows. Jareth debates whether to try and take his owl-clothes from Jo, but comes to the conclusion that it's too cold to get out of bed in only his boxers.)  
  
Jareth: ...why are you wearing my cloak?  
  
Jo: (sitting down on the edge of the bed) It's cold. Why else?  
  
Jareth: I don't know. You tell me.  
  
(Gabriel is surreptitiously edging closer to Jareth, head still hidden under the pillows.)  
  
Gabriel: (under pillow) Jo, what did you do?  
  
Jo: You guys weren't up. So I was queen!  
  
Jareth: (in shock) What'd you do?  
  
Jo: Nothing! ...well, I had the oubliette painted blue.  
  
(Jareth groans and hides his head under the pillows. He comes face to face with Gabriel. She grins faintly and wiggles her eyebrows. Jo pulls down the sheets and both of them shudder. )  
  
Jo: Come on! I'm bored! Get up!!! You don't want your whole land knowing you spent all day with a girl in your bed...do you... Jareth?  
  
(Jareth does not respond. He's trying to detach Gabriel from his chest, where she is clinging and shivering.)  
  
Gabriel: It's cold.  
  
Jo: (protesting) It's not cold! I'm wearing shorts!  
  
Gabriel: (muffled by Jareth's chest) You're a mutant!  
  
(She reaches out a hand and pulls the covers back up to Jareth's chin, so that she's completely covered. Jo gives Jareth a suggestive look.)  
  
Jo: Looks like-  
  
Jareth: Oh, hush up!  
  
(Jo goes over to his side of the bed and pecks him on the cheek.)  
  
Jo: I've got a surprise for you! Ludo, c'mere!  
  
(Ludo comes in, carrying a tray of toast. Jareth raises an eyebrow.)  
  
Jareth: Why is that furball in my room with a plate?  
  
Jo: (defensively) I taught him how to make toast!  
  
Ludo: (proud) Ludo toast!  
  
Gabriel: (muffled by the covers and Jareth's chest, disbelieving) You taught Ludo how to make toast. Right.  
  
Jo: No, look! He made toast!  
  
Gabriel: Not coming out. Too cold.  
  
(She shifts position. Jareth twitches and starts blushing. Jo takes the toast from Ludo, sits down next to Jareth, and offers him the toast. He blinks.)  
  
Jareth: Thank you.  
  
(He eats the toast.)  
  
Jareth: (deadpan) It's furry.  
  
Gabriel: (muffled) Can I have a piece?  
  
Jo: Sure!  
  
(Gabriel sticks a hand out from under the covers, grabs a slice of toast, and drags it back under. Munching sounds come from somewhere around Jareth's ribcage.)  
  
Jareth: (abruptly) Watch the crumbs!  
  
Gabriel: (muffled) If you don't want crumbs there, keep your hips away from my face.  
  
(Jo's eyebrows fly up. She stares at Jareth. He blushes.)  
  
Jareth: Look, it's uncomfortable, ok?  
  
Jo: (shrugging) You've got a meeting in a few minutes. Want me to do it? I've already done four.  
  
Jareth: (choking) Four?  
  
Jo: Yeah!  
  
Jareth: (calming down) No. No. Just send them in here.  
  
Jo: ...what about Gabriel?  
  
Gabriel: (muffled) I'm not leaving!  
  
Jo: (coaxing) If you come to my nice warm kitchen, I'll make you some croissants!  
  
Gabriel: No. I'm staying right here. I'm warm. If I get up, I'll be cold.  
  
Jo: Jareth has to do his work, though.  
  
Gabriel: He can do it with me here, 'cause I'm not leaving.  
  
Jo: Ok...Jareth, mind if I go to the Firey Forest?  
  
Jareth: (relieved) Sure. As long as you don't try to negotiate for me. Sure.  
  
Gabriel: (muffled) I like it here. It's warm.  
  
(Jareth twitches. Jo disappears in a puff of illogic.)  
  
Jareth: Ok. What do I do now?  
  
Gabriel: As long as you're there, will you pass me some more toast?  
  
Jareth: Sure.  
  
(He passes her some toast. She eats it.)  
  
Jareth: We're out of toast...Ludo? Toast?  
  
Ludo: No. Jareth not Ludo friend. Jo Ludo friend. Jareth insult Ludo.  
  
Gabriel: (suddenly) Tickle!  
  
Jareth: AH! No! No tickle!  
  
(Three days pass. Jareth and Gabriel are still in bed. The goblins have been bringing them more toast and bacon.)  
  
(Fourth day. Jo shows up, dressed like a Firey. She looks at Jareth.)  
  
Jo: Anything interesting happen while I was gone? (winkwinknudgenudge)  
  
Gabriel: Heehee...he couldn't get a cold shower!  
  
(Jo's eyebrow rise slowly. She starts chanting something under her breath. Jareth throws the toast rack at her.)  
  
Jo: Hey!  
  
Jareth: (blushing) I did not!  
  
Gabriel: No, they actually look-mmf!  
  
(She is abruptly cut off as Jareth's hand shoots under the covers to cover up her mouth.)  
  
Jo: I'm going to go take a nap.  
  
(She stumbles off to the staircase room, trips, and falls asleep on Ludo. Jareth yelps and pulls his hand back out from under the covers.)  
  
Jareth: Biting is not good! Bad Gabriel! No biting!  
  
Gabriel: Hmph. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

(Scene: The next day. It's warm again. Jareth emerges from his room, dressed. Gabriel is clinging to his back, wearing another set of his clothes. Various ambassadors from other magical countries look on with interest as Jareth shoves Ludo and Jo off his throne, dislodges Gabriel, and sits down.)  
  
Ambassador #1: Who's that girl?  
  
Ambassador #2: I don't know, but I'm sure she's the reason he's been in bed for four days.  
  
Ambassador #3: What about the orange one?  
  
Ambassador #4: What about the fuzzball?  
  
Ambassador #3: I knew Jareth had some...interesting tastes, but really...they're almost half his age...and they're humans...at least I think they are...  
  
Ambassador #1: The orange one doesn't look like it.  
  
Ambassador #2: Nope. She's human. I can smell it. Although the body paint gets in the way...  
  
Ambassador #4: But what about the fuzzy thing?  
  
Jareth: (irritably) Everyone shut up! I'm holding court now. They are not to be discussed.  
  
Jo: (yawning) Hm?  
  
Jareth: You shut up.  
  
(Jo shrugs and goes back to sleep. Gabriel crawls onto his lap sleepily, rests her head on his shoulder, and falls asleep. Jo rolls over and starts using Jareth's booted foot as a pillow and Ludo's arm as a blanket. Ambassador #2 hurries over and sniffs at Gabriel curiously.)  
  
Jareth: No.  
  
(Ambassador #4 pokes at Ludo. In her sleep, Jo smacks him across the room. Ambassador #2 frowns at Jareth.)  
  
Ambassador #2: It would be considered a favor by my country...one that can be repayed...  
  
Jareth: No. I know the rules of propriety as well as you. Now, the orange one, on the other hand...  
  
Ambassador #2: (excited) Really?  
  
Jo: (asleep) Louis...  
  
Jareth: Yes.  
  
Ambassador #2: Honest and for true?  
  
Jareth: Yes, please!  
  
Jo: (asleep) Hrn? (slowly waking up) Jareth, y'wouldn't ever let me die, would you?  
  
Jareth: (matter-of-fact) No. But sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be nice to have you maimed.  
  
(Jo snaps awake and puts on a guilty puppy eyes face, about to guilt-trip him. Then she peers at Ambassador #2 and notes his striking resemblance to Louis.)  
  
Jo: If you want I'll go to ooo....Louis?  
  
Ambassador #2: He's a distant cousin.  
  
Jo: Louis!  
  
(She pounces on Ambassador #2. He staggers. Then, remembering that she's supposed to be guilt-tripping Jareth, she hops onto the floor at Jareth's feet.)  
  
Jo: (puppy eyes) If you want I'll go to the oubliette...  
  
Jareth: (sighing) By now that would probably be a relief...  
  
(Jo pouts, stands, turns, winks at Ambassador #2, and starts trudging off. Salivating, Ambassador #2 darts after her. Gabriel yawns, blinks sleepily at Jareth, and giggles.)  
  
Gabriel: (groggy) She'll be even more of a terror once she's back.  
  
Jareth: What? Why?  
  
Gabriel: (groggy) Turning...heehee, turning in the wind...  
  
(She goes back to sleep. Jareth frowns.)  
  
Jareth: Turning...? Whatever. On with court! 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

(Scene: Four days later. Jareth runs through the throne room, yelping. Gabriel is chasing after him with a bullwhip.)  
  
(Scene: Three days after that. Jareth is sitting on his throne, holding court. Gabriel is in the corner, tapdancing. Jo swaggers in, wearing a cheap Dracula costume and with her hair dyed blue. Her skin is unnaturally pale. Seeing her, Jareth raises an eyebrow.)  
  
Jareth: Where have you been?  
  
Jo: Italians make good munchies.  
  
(In the corner, Gabriel stares at Jo. Then she falls over in a dead faint. Neither Jareth nor Jo notice.)  
  
Jareth: ...what happened to your teeth?  
  
Jo: (innocently biting lower lip) What teeth?  
  
(Gabriel twitches, wakes up, and goes to hide under the covers. Ambassador #2 looks into the room, then starts to run away.)  
  
Ambassador #2: It wasn't me! I didn't do it! It was all Lestat's fault!  
  
Jareth: Who's Lestat...?  
  
(Scene: Jareth's room. Gabriel is hiding under the covers of the bed. Jo is floating over her, chilling out.)  
  
Jo: Y'know, you really should meet Lestat. He's cool. But...I wanna be human again. Being a vampire really bites.  
  
Gabriel: You're one to talk about biting.  
  
Jo: I know.  
  
(She smiles toothily.)  
  
Jo: Y'think I should bite Jareth?  
  
Gabriel: Don't, please. I kind of like his neck the way it is. 


End file.
